


Aging Innocence

by phanteezers



Category: Phan, Phandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 20:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2705255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanteezers/pseuds/phanteezers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan was just a little child when he met Phil, his protector from the shadows in the trail in the backyard, also known to him as the Big Woods.  Phil was his best friend, but when Dan begins Kindergarten, Phil says he has to go, and with a goodbye that was not nearly long enough, Phil leaves Dan alone with only the memory of him, holding on to the hope that his mommy was wrong and that Phil wasn't imaginary, no matter how much he was told to forget about him.  But down the road when Dan goes to high school, will he have forgotten?  Will he do anything as Phil makes a reappearance in his life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

*Dan, Age 5*

"Dan, don't leave the trail, alright? Come back in when the big hand on your watch reaches eight, okay sweetie? You don't want to be tired for your first day of school!" My mommy said with big eyes and shaking her head a lot.

What was she so worried about?? I always go into the big woods. There's where my friend Phil that mommy calls ee-magah-nar-ee. Whatever that means. I was also good at going to sleep. I did hate it, though. I can't move when I sleep, and I hate that.

"Okay mommy!" I say just so I can go quicker. She gives me a kiss on the forehead which I hastily wipe away when I turn around. I always hated that feeling. I had my new leather jacket my daddy bought before he went on his truck trip. Only three more weeks until he's back! I excitedly thought. 

I went out the backdoor with my flashlight in hand, already turned on. Even though I wasn't scared of Phil, I was scared of the big woods. All of the shadows made scary shapes that would sometimes follow me, but Phil said he wouldn't let them hurt me. I was glad he was there for me. 

I think Phil is amazing. 

I hurried through the big woods with a lot of excitement to get to see him today. It had been almost a week since he had been there. Phil was always here on Sundays though. Sundays were the days we would sometimes even talk in my room. I hope he liked talking to me as much as I liked talking to him. 

At the end of the big woods was the circle. My daddy made it for me before I was born when I was in my momma's tummy. He said he would walk with me through it when he got back. I was excited for that.

"Phiiiiilll?" I called out, not yelling so mommy couldn't hear me just in case she came outside. I heard slight rustling. My flashlight went straight to the source to see a smiling Phil. He was wearing a leather jacket, like me. 

I gave a big smile to him and looked at his face which held the smile, but there was something different. He had a small black spot on his eye. 

I gasped. "Philly, what happened to your eye?!" I said, running over to him and pulling at his sleeve. He was really tall, hovered over me. He kneeled down and sat on the dirt. I was taller than him now. I shined the light beside him so the light didn't hurt his eyes. I did like the purple color of his eyes, though. They were the same color purple as the flowers he would pick for me on the outer part of the circle.I always loved when he would let me shine light at them. He never would visit me during the day though. He had school. I was about to have school, like mommy said. 

Phil looked down at his hands in his lap before looking up at me. His eyes even without the flashlight were almost glowing. I frowned instead of holding even just a small smile. His eye was badly bruised. Did someone hurt him??

"I'm okay, Dan, I just had a lil' fight, that's all," He gave a small smile, but Phil never was anything but smiles. Who would hurt Phil?

"Do ya want me to get 'em, Phil?" I said, my eyes wide in the dark so I could see his face. "I"ll get whoever did that! No one should hurt you!" I pouted. Pouting usually got me things. I didn't want anything right now but Phil to be happy. Maybe he would let me get the bad guys that hurt him. 

He chuckled, smiling and letting his pointy teeth show. I loved his teeth. They looked like the people from scary movies, but he wasn't scary. "I'm fine, Dan, but thank you." I smiled back.

"I have something to tell you, though, Dan." His voice went serious, like Mommy's did when Daddy had to leave for the first time for a really long time. Phil's eyes went watery like Mommy's did, too. 

"What is it?" I tilted my head. I sat down in front of Phil. He was taller than me now. 

"You're starting school now, and you need your sleep, right?" Phil said. I nodded. 

"Now, since you need your sleep, you're going to need to make sure you don't stay out late." His voice went a bit slower. I didn't get it. 

"I don't anyways, Phil. What do ya mean?" I said.

He sighed, looking down again but not at me. He didn't look at me again while he spoke. "I can't see you again for a long while, Dan." My heart did a little thump harder than usual. "You're going to school, and you can't talk about me. It would just make things worse if you stay with me now, okay?" 

My heart thumped harder. Why couldn't he just stay? Why can't he not leave me?!

"I'm going to watch over you though, I promise," Phil hastily added. "I just can't right now, with you going into school, and me getting bea- me just.. lots of things are going on, alright Danny?" His voice cracked. I hadn't heard a voice snap since gramma died and mommy's voice did that. My eyes watered up the same as they had then, as well. I couldn't lose Phil. He was there when my daddy wasn't. He was the one to tell me goodnight if mommy forgot from late night work. Phil was the one who was for me only and couldn't leave. 

Tears went down my face, but I wasn't happy. They were sad tears. I didn't like the tears at all, and I really didn't like how they made my voice sound when I talked. But I talked anyways. 

"P-Phil, you can't leave me!" I whined. It was stupid, but I didn't want him to leave me. He had been with me for three months, and I couldn't just have him leave. He was my best friend. 

"Aw, please don't cry little Dan.." Phil's arms came around me and pulled me up to him into a watery hug. I was sobbing now. I couldn't let him leave, but he was bigger than me. I couldn't stop him. 

"You could hide in my closet! you could come to school with me and say you had a grow sprout!" I said, looking up with teary eyes. 

Surprisingly, he laughed, but tears fell on my face from his. They were cold. I rubbed them off with my thumbs from his face. Then I snuggled into his chest. I didn't like my Phil to be sad. 

"Please don't cry Phil... You.." I swallowed hard. I had to be as strong as my daddy is. That's what he taught me. "You can go. I'll be here waiting. You'll come back, right?" I added.

 

He nodded furiously. "Of course I will, Danny. I'll come back, and we can talk everyday. But don't dwell- or, don't worry about me. Just remember: I am real, and I /will/ be back. I'm here for you." His arms held me a bit tighter before he let me go and gently sat me back on the ground. I stood up as he did and craned my neck to look at him. 

"Please come back soon, Philly.." I sniffled. My nose was starting to run. 

He smiled a sad smile, but still my Phil's smile. I smiled back. He might be back when Daddy came back, but that's still long. I would be strong, though. I was here for him, too. 

And before Phil said anything else, his shadow left before he did. 

I was alone. 

I wiped my face off and ran back to the house and into my room. I tucked myself in as mommy was asleep on the couch around papers and I didn't wanna wake her up. She was taking a nap. 

"goodnight, Phil," I whispered before going to sleep. 

And I thought I even heard him respond before smiling away into darkness. 

 

_______________________


	2. Did he Just..?

*Dan, Age 15*

I didn't get it. The shadows weren't even people, just shapes that twisted and turned into various versions of limbs. Every step I took was like turning the grass around in a circle: I never moved from my spot. The limbs kept coming at me though, my only defense being to rapidly wave my arms and sheer screaming and yelling to leave me alone, I never did anything wrong. 

The shadows persisted though, not letting an inch of me rest as I triumphed by only getting a few feet away from the entanglement of the shadows. 

But I had celebrated my small victory in my mind to early, as the limbs extended longer than they had the time I was in the woods fully. How did I even get out here?!

I was yanked back by the grip of the force, my chin slamming against the compact dirt. I screamed dispute my tries of getting free. I knew it was helpless to fight it; why give more energy to screaming than fighting? 

But I didn't need the energy for long. 

A figure rose from the shadows, still blending in with the others but with a certain feel with it. It felt.. /safe/. 

The figure then proceeded to do what left my mouth ajar against the ground as the limb let go of me and the shadows almost dissipated right in front of me. The remaining ones that fought against the shadow that was human-shaped were vanished as a growl that was anything but human rang out. 

All of the shadows but the one that /saved/ me was gone. 

I stood up and began to run, but when I got only a few seconds away from the deadly scene, I was stopped. Nothing was in front of me, but there was a magnetism holding me back from running onward. 

I looked behind me and shoved my back against the force. Even if it wasn't visible, it was something I could put my back to. 

The shadow edged closer. It was only a few feet away, standing up as if human but still only the shape of a shadow. 

It continued, watching as I squirmed against the invisible wall and squeezed my eyes shut. But when it came to where I could feel it's presence push against my arm, I had to open my eyes. I could see through the shadow of it now, the woods behind being blurry. It's head leaned in behind my ear, and I held my breath as it whispered only three words to me:

"I am real." 

 

 

"MR. HOWELL." Anything but the shadow's luring voice was in this voice that awoke me from my nightmare-turned-dream. I felt my head being pulled up involuntarily by my subconscious that somehow knew that my head should not have been down when I didn't see the problem. 

I did when the light hit my eyes and I saw my new first period teacher, though. 

I was at my first class for high school and already the teacher hated me.

"Oh, uh, s-sorry, sir." I looked down at my clasped hands together on the desk. 

"Mr Howell, if you want to sleep then you may as well just stay at home. School is for learning, sleeping is for at home. Learn the difference before you get sent there." He walked back to the front of the class as everyone snickered. 

What about homework? That's not considered separate from home and school even though it's only for school.. I murmured in my own mind. I didn't want to get in deep trouble the first day of school. 

I managed to stay awake the rest of the class period despite my insane tired tendencies of twitching when his voice would get loud. It woke the thinking part of our minds, he would say. I didn't care about the awake part of my mind. I still couldn't get over the dreaming part. What the hell was that anyways??

I am real. The words replayed in my head until I got shivers from the voice. It was a voice that sounded so familiar it scared me. I had no best friends in elementary or junior high, so it wasn't any familiar "bestie". I didn't even really talk to many people. It was just me and my mom. 

The bell interrupted my thoughts. Had I really gotten away with sleeping for almost all of the class? Even though I knew I couldn't pull that again, even on accident, I was thankful for it almost. I had missed 1/4 of the day meaning 1/4 of the droning on about the handbook rules and regulations. I get it, no drugs, no relationships, no being ourselves. Check.

My schedule was tucked into my book bag in the binder already. I had memorized the classes before and had even came to the open house last week. I knew where each class was so I wasn't "that kid" who would walk in on a teacher that would get offended when all they were doing was reading from the same book that had been in the school system for decades. 

So when I went into my second Period, English Acc, I just sat in the back. There was only one other kid there whom also sat in the back. I wasn't really scared of any of the people there, though. I didn't know them well enough. 

I put my head down on the desk so if anyone came in they would either leave me alone, or talk to me. And I didn't want people to talk to me, of course. Why would I? Freshman never get the good end of conversations. Or at least, that's what it seemed like it would be like. And I wasn't wrong. 

I picked my head up when I heard the door officially shut. There was half of the classroom still empty. I guess not many people got into English Acc? Or maybe the class was split up? I didn't know. I didn't really care to know. Just something to think about. 

"Alright class, go ahead and think to yourself everything about this class that you're expecting. Whatever it is, you're right! Congratulations." The teacher had a smooth lopsided smile that was almost stuck on his face as he talked. I decided that he would be okay.

"We do everything almost. We'll color and it can look like Kinder gardener work because mine does too. And we'll also do essays that you'll probably wait until the day before to do, but we'll all work together. You guys won't have a problem with this class. Everyone got it?"

Everyone said got it in a tired tone. No one else really cared, but I really had a good feeling about this teacher. He cared about his work. I wish I could do that.

"Now, I have to read the hand book which we all have our opinions on," He started, and we could tell of his opinion by the way he rolled his eyes at the handbook. Everyone chuckled. "But, it must be done. Everyone, please turn to page 34 and we'll go over attendance policy. Does anyone in here like reading?" He asked. Of course, no one rose their hand. 

"Me neither," he admitted. "But, it must be done. Sooo...Hm." he looked around the class before his eyes brightened up and he pointed to the desk next to me. I didn't want to look over in fear of seeing the person looking at me for whatever reason. I had that fear.

"You! What's your name?" He tightened his smile up. The boy didn't talk for a split second before his voice was strong and confident.

"I'm Phillip. Or, I prefer just Phil. Where do I start reading again..?"

Holy fuck.

It was the voice from the dream.

I am real, it mocked me in my head. That was most /definitely/ his voice. 

The boy, or Phil as he said, began to read, and I couldn't even listen to the words about how many days you could miss or what tardies meant or anything involving school in general. I just sat in shock at how some boy's voice matched the one in my nightmare.

Especially to be the one who saved me.

No, that can't be right. Maybe it just sounds similar.. Yeah. That's it.

Phil stopped reading before I even noticed. He didn't stutter while he read, but his tone was off. He sounded just.. annoyed almost. 

He didn't sound the same as the dream, I decided. The shadow in my dream was calm and sweet.

The class carried on with random kids reading, and thank God I didn't have to read today. I stuttered enough as is, and even though it was annoying as hell, I couldn't help it. First days of anything just made it worse of course. 

So when the bell rang, I was the first to get up and go. My book bag was never unpacked in the first place, why would it be? So I went straight to lunch. I had lunch before I had my class, but on the way to lunch I passed by the gym hall. I had planned on just seeing if I could stay in there, maybe not eat the school lunch today just to not condition myself to always eating in there. Sometimes the food was just inedible. 

But the football coach was already outside. He was the one who had taught gym as well, but since he had football third period, there was probably not much learning to be had. I planned on just sitting alone in the gym and doodling on paper, except almost all thirty of the other gym kids for third had the same idea. 

Except for the doodling. 

Teenagers flooded the gym, laughing and talking like they were all best friends although it was obvious they could care less. There were a few kids that were hanging in the back, ear buds already placed in their ears. I would have hung out with those kids if I were social. I mean, they might say they're anti-social or introverted or whatever, but they're literally all hanging out. They just want to fit in, like everyone else. 

I blurred out all of the rest of class. I began to just zone out, but my pencil stayed moving. I didn't even try to stop it. When I started to draw, I would usually not stop until the thought came to a stop. 

When I looked down at the spiraling paper, I couldn't even see how I had done it. There was the shadow from the dream. All around it where the same three words that dragged through my day, making everything murky: I am real. 

What the hell does that even /mean/?!

I packed up my stuff. There was only five minutes left anyway, and who was here to tell me I couldn't go ahead and get to class right on time? 

I hurried through the gym, disliking seeing the people all staring at the kid who dared leave class. I didn't see the problem in it, though. I could go to the bathroom and get there to class late, actually. My class was at the other side of the school. I had a right to leave early. 

I walked into the halls and slowed down, just looking at all of the brick that made up the walls that separated the advanced classes from the basic ones, that separated the ones who would succeed and those who would fail. Everyone would get left behind sooner or later. It was only a matter of time. 

When I was only a few doors away from the room, I almost went at crawling speed. 

Phil was at the doorway of my final class. His eyes looked up at me after seeing moving and blinked once. 

His eyes were almost glowing violet. 

I quickly went into the bathroom mere feet away from the class. I stood in front of the mirror to curse silently at my eyes that were underlined from back because of lack of sleep. My hair was ruffled from fluffing it when I drew in gym. Even my general look was just /tired/. 

Alright, Dan, calm down. It's just a guy who sounds like someone who saved you from a nightmare. 

Nothing major. 

I waited until the bell rung to leave the bathroom before the crowds of loud teenagers attacked the halls. My classroom was empty by the time I got there except the teacher and Phil. 

I sat down in the seat in the very back, just like every other class. This one seemed okay, though. It was a woman that was the teacher, my only girl one, and she looked friendly. I silently paired her up with my second period teacher. They would go well with each other. 

Of course, when Phil was finished talking to the teacher, He sat down. Right beside me. 

Everyone else piled in slowly in clumps of cliques. It was a full class set. 

When the door shut, everyone tiredly looked up at the teacher with unamused eyes. No one cared about anything by this point of day, especially the first day of school. They just wanted to get home and talk to their friends. I just wanted to go home and sleep. 

The teacher began to immediately address her part of the handbook that she had to teach us. She read clear cut and decisive, which helped me to not fall asleep, but as soon as she was done, she closed her book and began explaining our assignment of the day. Really? Already??

"You'll pair up with the person on the left of you every two rows. I'm going to pass out a sheet for every group where you can fill in the blanks about certain things or just write on the back about yourself. So, go ahead and get in groups!" 

Phil was to the left of me. Just my luck. 

I got up from where I was sitting and moved to sit against a wall. I didn't want o have our desks side by side; I would be too trapped. I grabbed the Science book to use to write on along with my pencil. I could feel Phil's eyes on me as I made the transition from my seat to the wall. He followed with the two papers we were handed. 

He slid down to sit right next to me. I saw the corner of the second paper behind the one he had and grabbed it. I wanted to write, too. 

I didn't look at the expression he made as I somewhat snapped the paper from behind his own. I just began to put the pencil the back of the paper when he set his paper on top if mine. 

Do you remember me? 

I wrote back. 

No. I've never even met you. How do I know you?

He gently grabbed the paper from the book and began to write. I looked at him through the corners of my eyes while he was focused on the paper. What the hell was up with his eyes? 

They were literally the color of galaxy purple. They had speckles and flecks and sprinkles of lighter shades of purple, not quite blending but not shining. Just /existing/ there. I wanted to be like that. Why couldn't I be like that? 

The paper was passed back. A longer message was now written. 

You don't remember, do you? Scribbled words were written here before it continued. We need to talk. You do know me, and it's not going to be good when you realize how. But I want to be your friend. I kind-of /have/ to. So, can we talk sometime soon? Like tomorrow after school at the local park or something? There has to be a park somewhere here. 

"I don't even know you," I mumbled.

Phil's head snapped over to look at me. I kept staring at my paper, though. I didn't want to face his face, or else I would zone out and not be able to look away. His eyes wouldn't let me move if they caught mine. 

"Hm?" he said, his voice almost buzzing. He sounded a lot.. nicer than second period. 

"I don't. Even. Know you," I enunciated better even though I was the human embodiment of Winnie the Pooh's enunciation skills. 

I could literally feel the staring that Phil was doing and heard his swallow that gulped in the air and made the surrounding space feel closer. "Actually, you do. And you know you do, but you just don't know how. But you'll see. It's only a matter of time before y- have you had a dream yet?"

He talked in a low voice, low enough to where even the pair only a few feet away didn't even look up. Everyone seemed to be in their own little bubble as I looked at the class, actually. The teacher was smart for this. She was sitting in her seat, on her phone. I decided I really liked her as a teacher. 

But how did he know about the dreams? Did he do this to people? Drug them or something to make them have a dream? 

No. That's literally ridiculous, Dan. How would he even get the dru- no, I stopped myself. He just knew.

And something isn't right about this no matter what way I think about it.

I finally looked up at him. I couldn't help it; who the hell was he to come to my first year of high school, making me think he's someone got into my dreams before I even knew him? I don't even know him! 

His eyes almost felt like they were melting into my brain, the flecks reflecting against the light. He seemed to not look up at any of the students, but he was fine with looking at the teacher. Did she have him before at another school?

Focus, Dan. You're intently staring at him for a reason, and you're going to ignore the look of sadness that he has because it's not your fault he's bothering you about things that you didn't want. 

I started to speak but hated it. I was nervous; I stuttered. "I d-don't know how you freaking know that, but tha-that's nothing you should be c-concerned of. I'm just a-a messed up dude who d-doesn't need someone knowing about m-my dreams that I have n-no matter if the-they're about freakin' shadows a-attacking or ice cream tr-trucks, alright?" I let out a sigh, but didn't look away from his eyes. They almost held me there by some invisible force. They made me feel safe even though I didn't even know him, know Phil.

At least that's what I thought. 

"It already started?!" He rushed out, his voice only barely getting louder. His eyebrows furrowed as he let out a frustrated sigh and looked down. "Jesus fucking Christ.." His muttered tone didn't help. His eyes looking down, my heart rate started going quicker than usual. A lot quicker. It started to hurt, even. I blinked a few times, confused. What was happening to me..?

"Phil. Look up at me." His head slowly came up as he tilted his head and looked curiously at me.

"What?" He asked, looking in between my eyes. My heart rate went back down slowly, every problem dissolving. Almost like the shadows did. 

"You're calming me. But you're scaring me on the first day of school. And this isn't normal, but I feel okay," I admitted, talking swiftly and under my breath, but he somehow heard. He heard everything I was saying, and I could tell by the shifts of his face. "You're literally just looking at me and I don't know you but you're making me feel safe and I don't like it because that's not a good feeling. Just stop fucking around with my emotions however you're doing it, please, okay?" My eyes were wider, I could feel it, but I couldn't stop it. 

I was scared for the first time in years. 

Phil looked at me with a slightly ajar mouth, looking at a loss for words. His eyes softened as his eyes were a nebula purple. How where they even like that? That's just unfair. Ugh. 

He began to talk, but the teacher interrupted. "Alright, class, get into your seats again if you're on the floor or turn your desks back if you moved those as well! We're going to keep these with whomever wants to keep them, and we'll go over the other half of the handbook that is for this class. It's only five pages, don't worry. Let's hurry so we can have five minutes at the end for free time!" She clapped her hands twice. I looked over at Phil one last time before standing up and shaking my head while looking away. I had to snap out of this. No way in hell was I going to start depending on someone for feeling safe when they also caused my uneasiness. Who knew high school would start off this quickly? 

As the teacher spoke, I reread the little paragraph Phil wrote. Local park. There was one of those, wasn't there? It was even a few blocks away from my house, about a quarter of a mile away from it. I could probably walk there in an easy ten minutes if I was determined. Probably thirty on a casual slow stroll. 

"Alright everyone, pack up! Only two minutes left." Her voice spoke quicker than I had imagine, but when I snuck a peek at my phone, the time was right: Only two more minutes. Now one. 

I put the paper lazily in the middle of two empty binders. I stared at the desk, waiting for the bell to ring and praying for Phil to not try and get my attention. I did, however, not stop myself from looking over from the corner of my eyes to end up seeing him trying to look at me as well. 

The bell rang, and before I knew it, Phil was out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well dang. That was a hella long chapter, but I think they're going to be more on the lengthy side from now on so I can actually shape up and mold the story and put in some more detail and happenings and whatnot. ^~^ Did you guys like it? Say in the comments if ya want c: I'm going to actually just leave my tumblr below for those who like to read on the tumblr format or for those who just want to message or whatnot and also my wattpad ^~^ Hope you guys enjoyed, and the next one will be up soon!  
> My Tumblr: phanteezers.tumblr.com  
> My Wattpad: phanteezers


	3. Imaginary Reality

My house was more cozy than big, but I liked it. My mom was sitting in her seat in front of the tv, staring blankly at it. The tv wasn't even on. Screaming static took over the screen. 

I slumped towards my room, taking off my book-bag when arriving to my room. I layed back on the bed and let a breath out that I felt like I had kept in since the beginning of second period. High school had met the expectations in the form of boringness of work, but I didn't expect meeting someone who could make the day interesting. Not that much. 

I had to remember how I knew him. I can't do homework, I can't deal with mother, I can't do anything. I didn't even have video games to distract because my mother took them away. Gotta work on that homework this year, you hear, Billy! I mocked her in my own mind. She was so drunk last night she didn't remember my name. 

I get it. Her husband died. My dad died. People leave you, involuntarily or not, but it happens. You have to deal and move on.

I turned my body to lay on my side and pulled the covers half over myself. I might as well try to sleep. There's nothing else to do. 

And with that fact, I fell asleep with no intention of anything. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This was different. I was hovering over myself as a young child, running through the Big Woods like it wasn't the scariest thing on the face of Earth. 

My smaller self ran with a flashlight on all the way until he reached the back circle. 

I tried to tell myself to stop, to turn back, but I wouldn't listen to myself. I don't even think Little Dan could hear me. 

Before I knew it, Little Dan was talking. He said the one name I thought I had escaped from by sleeping: Phil. The young me yelled out his name with a laugh. 

And Little Dan turned the light to shine it on the appeared Phil. 

The little me began laughing, running up to and hugging a smiling Phil. A /pointed/ smile. 

His teeth in the front were all normal, but his canines on the top jutted out to poke against his bottom lip. 

Little Dan kept pulling at Phil's sleeve until he sat down, little Dan now being taller. 

Phil began to speak. "How are you, Danny? I missed you!" he said, smiling up at him- at /me/- with pure admiration. His voice was completely different. He sounded happier with things. 

"I did, too!" Little Dan beamed. He- I mean, I- then began talking about everything of that day, including what food I ate and how excited I was for my dad to get back even though he had just left that day. I remember that day, too, I think.. 

And just like that I began to remember the feeling of slowly having my dad take longer and longer trips, I remember the short amount of time where I was young. I was young, and had happiness, and imagination. I had an imaginary friend from my imagination. 

Or that's what I was told it was until now. 

My not-so-imaginary friend, Phil. 

The tree limbs began swirling as a tornado-like image went in front of me. I felt it swoop me up and when I opened my eyes , everything calmed down and began to stop swirling. I was in my living room, looking at the room as if I was at the roof and the ceiling was removed. I could see everything. 

Little Dan was sitting on the couch with my mom's arm around me, both of us crying very loudly. A police officer stood in front of us, radiating empathy. I could feel it from where I watched the scene unravel. This was when we found out my dad had drove too fast on too dangerous of a road. I was nine. 

I looked at the living room fully when the sight of my mother in such distress was too much. The tv that was barely up to my waist even at the age of nine was still there. We hadn't gotten the money that my dad had saved for us yet. The carpet was clean from my dad always using some scrubbing stuff on it. It didn't stay like that for long.

I looked out to the opening of the kitchen, expecting to see the slight bit of the refridgerator poking out. Instead, I saw a pair of familiar eyes poking out in the darkness.

Purple eyes. 

The tornado came back before I could look anymore, whipping up the scenario into a white blur. I closed my eyes again, starting to feel my own eyes in slumber twitch. /No/, I told myself. I couldn't wake up yet. I tugged at the rope of consciousness. 

The swirling stopped. The class bully of my first year of middle school appeared, holding me against the famous lockers of the halls. We weren't even allowed to use the lockers; it was almost like they were there just for the pure cliche act. 

The bully that name I had forgotten had me pinned against the locker that everyone would purposefully avoid going near strictly because this is where the infamous bullying crew would strike. Around these lockers. 

The bully wasn't beating me up or anything. At this point; students were all walking around, no one really paying attention. They would still be careful though, I remembered that. It wasn't like what I had heard about high school. They wouldn't beat you up in middle school psychically; they would get you there mentally and make up for the beating in high school. 

The stress of watching my younger self with tears streaming and everyone stopping to watch and even looking to see the occasional teacher walked by was giving my anxiety new levels. I could feel the words stabbing even myself as if it was psychical abuse. I couldn't handle it anymore. My younger self started screaming, but I couldn't move away. I was stuck, watching him squirm under the grasp of the bully. I couldn't help him. 

I looked over to all of the students worming through the halls before my eyes laid upon a certain student. Hell, not even a student. 

It was Phil, going through the halls with an even stride. I watched him go down the hall and even saw him before he turned the corner talking to Mrs. Gillian. She was one of the only teachers I really cared about in middle school; she was stuck at the wrong school it seemed like. She was the most caring teacher ever, but all of the kids drove her insane with constant bullying and not caring about grades. 

I heard she quit over the summer.

Seeing Phil talking to her before she ran to stop the younger me from the verbal abuse was enough to make my heart race. I had the feeling of both my asleep self's heartbeat going along with in the dream. Wait, this is a dream. Why am I staying to watch this? Why am I even watching all of this?!

 

 

 

I bolted up from my bed with a racing heart.

I had to go. I had to go and see if he would be there if I went. He had been there for me for most of my childhood, staying close to me and keeping me safe. He had been there for it all. 

I almost sprinted through the hallway. In the living room window, I could see the darkness of outside. My mom was still staring at the TV. 

I went outside with my phone's flashlight on, not wanting to rely on my flashlight's batteries that had been untouched for years. They probably didn't even work. It had been so long from going out here that I didn't want to try and navigate myself by moonlight, especially with just waking up. Adrenaline was my one energy right now. 

My legs pushed forward in an even step to make sure I didn't go back. All of the trees towered over me of course, but it felt different than the trees at school. They actually felt /scary/.

The branches moved in the windless air. I kept going.

After a slow-moving few minutes, I reached the back of the trail. The circle looked as scary as ever. 

My breath was shaky and fighting to be louder than the beating of my heart. Everything was shadows, shadows and limbs on trees that began to move quicker. he wind didn't blow but the rustling increased. I almost whimpered. 

"P-Phil?" I said so quietly even I could barely hear it, but only a moment later, there were footsteps. 

I turned around to see Phil a few feet away. 

I took a step back. The light of my phone illuminated his entire self, letting me actually get to see him. There were bags under his eyes as well as well as a straight line of his lips. His eyes were wider than usual. He looked almost scared.

"Dan, did you have the dreams.?" Phil's voice was very careful and soft. Surprisingly, I could hear him over the rustle and my breathing problems. 

I nodded. I had a feeling he could see it in the dark. 

He sighed, pacing for a few minutes before stopping and walking over to me. I didn't move, although I didn't know what was to happen. Everything felt too surreal to be truly scared. 

IHe took a few more steps only about a foot away now. I pointed the phone downwards; the moonlight was enough to see by. 

You've gone through a lot, and you've probably wondered why you, or you were about to ask." 

He was right. Why me??

"I've been there for you, Dan. I know you probably don't realize it, and you could hate me right now for leaving, or hell, coming back even.." 

Phil's voice cracked at the end. My heart skipped at least five beats, the words getting stuck in my throat that I wanted to immediately tell him. 

He must've mistaken my silence for anger. He took a small step back, hanging his head down to look at the leaves that stirred slightly. "I'll leave you alone, Dan.. just say the words. I can't leave untill you say." He looked back up, his eyes now a galaxy and most definitely glowing.

I couldn't help his sad tone. I took forward the step he had gone back, and pulled him into the first hug I had had in months. 

 

*Phil's P.O.V*

Dan's arms wrapped around my stomach as I instinctively held him close. This was my Dan in my arms, the one for me for the past ten years. I waited, watching him go through the worst of things and he's now finally in my arms. 

Wait, why is he in my arms. 

I didn't move, remembering how even little Dan liked security, when I whispered, "Why are you being so nice to me right now..?" I really didn't understand it. 

Dan chuckled, for whatever reason. I could feel tears starting to seep through my shirt from him, though.

"You dumb idiot. You did have me, and it did hurt like hell, but I was fine. I forgot. You were what, seventeen? It stuck with you. Hell, I forgot your name and couldn't even connect you to what happened when I saw you. I just have the feeling of loneliness; you have a face to go along with it." 

I chuckled. "That's true, I suppose. But I am okay. I'm not going to leave again, you know that, right?" I reluctantly pulled him back a bit to look into his eyes. 

He smiled, his teeth showing. He hadn't had that smile in a long time, I knew that. It didn't last long, though. He looked down for a minute before looking back up. His face melted from one of happiness to one of confusion. 

"Uhm, Phil?" his voice got a bit thinner.

"Hm?" 

"What are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Is this good? Iunno. I don't think things are moving too fast? And if they are that's okay then still, because I still have tons and tons of plans, ofc. The next chapter will be a lot longer than this because of just what I have in store, but don't worry; you won't be bored, I'm certain. :3 So if ya liked it, please give it a comment so I know I'm doing okay (: Talk to ya next chapter! 
> 
> My wattpad: phanteezers  
> My tumblr: phanteezers.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you guys! This is the first chaptered story that I'm actually kindof excited to continously post on and hopefully finish. (Don't worry, I will for those who read it.♥) Thank you for reading this first chapter, and I hope you like it! I should update every Tuesday and Thursday, but I might break that to post an extra day sometimes ^~^ I'll leave my blog info here just in case you wanna read it on there, and I'll also leave my wattpad information as it is most definitely posted on there as long as tons of drabbles. If you wanna talk to me, just message my blog and I'll be glad to talk or answer future questions about the story. Until then, bye! c:  
> My tumblr: phanteezers.tumblr.com  
> My wattpad: phanteezers


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